


Not Good With Surprises

by QueenieLacy



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alcohol, Alpha Rafael Barba, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apologies, Birth Control Fail, Crying, Discussion of Abortion, Explicit Language, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mpreg, Nick and Rafael are besties, Past Child Abuse, Unplanned Pregnancy, omega sonny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26366422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenieLacy/pseuds/QueenieLacy
Summary: An unplanned pregnancy puts Sonny and Rafael’s marriage in question because, unlike most alphas, Rafael wasn’t too eager to have mini-Rafaels running around.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 108





	Not Good With Surprises

Sonny waited silently in the exam room, his foot tapping against the tiled floor to release some of his nervous energy. Sonny had been ill for the last few weeks. He’d wake up every morning and immediately vomit last night’s dinner, he could hardly keep anything down, and he would get dizzy spells at random. The illness started to affect him at work and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He had to see his doctor. He took a half day in case the news was bad. Sonny left the precinct around noon and made it on time for his appointment. 

Sonny jumped when he felt his back pocket buzz, his nerves putting him on edge. He shook his head at himself as he pulled the phone out. He smiled at the text message sent from Rafael. His alpha was checking on him. Sonny replied and explained that he was still waiting for his doctor to come back while spinning his ring around his finger. 

Rafael had been checking in on him all day. He was probably more worried about Sonny than Sonny was about himself. The alpha wanted to make things better for Sonny, but it seemed that nothing he gave his omega worked. Rafael decided to nudge Sonny and suggest he see his doctor. Like a true alpha, Rafael wanted to take care of his family in every way imaginable. It did hurt his pride a little when he suggested Sonny see a doctor. His stomach turned at the thought of Sonny going to someone else for help, but he swallowed his pride because Sonny’s health was more important than his ego.

Sonny quickly looked up when he heard the door starting to open. He pocketed his phone before she could enter the room. Sonny noticed that the doctor was smiling, so maybe she had good news for him. “How am I looking, doc?” Sonny asked, returning her smile.

“Well, we ran a number of tests.” Dr. Perry, also an omega, explained to Sonny. “And you’re pregnant. Congratulations.” 

Sonny’s mouth opened and his eyes widened in shock. He couldn’t be pregnant. That wasn’t possible. “You know I’m on the pill.” Sonny said after he regrouped. “You wrote the prescription. I can’t be pregnant.”

“Yes, you can.” Dr. Perry retorted. “The pill is only 99 percent effective, so there is a 1 percent chance you can get pregnant.” Dr. Perry explained. “And it's only 99 percent effective if you take it at the same time everyday. If you take it at different times or accidentally miss a day, the effectiveness can drop below 60 percent.”

Sonny sat back in his chair as he processed the information the doctor shared with him. He thought back to the times when he was woken up early in the morning by Liv and running out of the house without taking his pill, taking it later thinking that was fine. Sonny thought about the couple of times when he was basking in the afterglow of sex that he wondered if he took his pill that day. Sonny was brought out of his thoughts when the doctor waved the results and a couple of pamphlets in his face. 

“These are for you.” Dr. Perry said and headed toward the door. “Stop by the desk to schedule an ultrasound appointment. Based on your hormone levels, I’d say you’re about six weeks, but an ultrasound will confirm it. Have a great day!”

“Yeah, you too doc.” Sonny watched the doctor leave the room before letting out a deep breath. Pregnant? He was still having trouble believing it. He wondered if Rafael would believe him or think he was pulling a prank.

Sonny gasped, sitting straight up in the chair. “Oh, God...Rafael…” Sonny swallowed hard and quickly stood from the chair. He threw the door open and left the doctors’ office in a rush, without scheduling the first ultrasound appointment. He had to get home to figure out how to break the news to Rafael. 

Unlike most alphas, Rafael was not eager to have little Rafael’s running around Manhattan. Rafael never out right said he didn’t want kids, but Sonny could easily read between the lines. He was incredibly awkward around Noah, Jesse, and basically every child he’d ever been around. He didn’t like to hold babies and always spoke about how lucky they were to not have to deal with that situation. Sonny had always thought he would have kids. Coming from a large Catholic family, the church taught him that it was his duty as an omega to have children for his alpha. 

He also thought there was more to life than raising children, and that he could do more. This led him to his current path as a Detective. Despite being an omega and his biology demanding he give his alpha children, Sonny had never been bothered by Rafael’s attitude toward kids...until now.

Sonny hopped into a taxi and gave the driver his address and building name. The drive gave him a few moments to think, and his thoughts were rather negative. Rafael was going to reject the baby. He didn’t want children, but Sonny couldn’t get an abortion. The Catholic in him just wouldn’t let him. He didn’t think he could carry a child to term only to give it up for adoption. Sonny didn’t trust himself to not become attached. The taxi stopped in front of his building and Sonny paid the driver and exited. He quickly moved into the building and hopped on an elevator up to his floor. He made it to his apartment without running in to anyone, not like he would actually run into anyone here. No one that he knew lived in this building. 

Sonny checked his watch as he entered the apartment. It was still too early for Rafael to be home and that would give him some time to plan something. He walked to their bedroom and stripped out his suit and made his way to the bathroom. He needed a hot shower to relax his nerves. He started to take off his ring before getting into the shower, but stopped himself. He couldn’t bring himself to remove the ring when it was a real possibility that his marriage could be over tonight.

He stayed into the shower until the water started to cool down and toweled off. Sonny put on a pair of sweatpants and found one of Rafael’s old T-shirts. He slipped it on because Rafael loved it when he wore his clothes. Sonny folded the results into a small square and put it in his pocket while putting the pamphlets in the drawer. He finished getting ready and made his way to the kitchen. While he was in the shower, he decided to cook a good meal for his alpha. He could ply Rafael with food and scotch, softing him up before delivering the news. Sonny looked through his cabinets and refrigerator before deciding on tonight’s menu. Rafael loved his mushroom risotto and they could have arancini as an appetizer. He had some leftover tiramisu from dinner at his parents’ house and he could top it with some ice cream for flare. 

Sonny got to work in the kitchen. He loved to cook so he easily found his groove and fell into the process. He was so focused that he hadn’t noticed the passage of time nor had he heard the door to the apartment opening. 

“It smells good.”

Sonny turned around and smiled at Rafael. He had already dropped his briefcase off in his home office before going to the kitchen. He removed his suit jacket and had it draped over his arm. “You have perfect timing.” Sonny spoke.

“Well, you know how I love to be perfect.” Rafael crossed the kitchen and pulled Sonny in for a kiss.

Sonny chuckled. “I just finished the risotto.”

“Oh, risotto.” Rafael licked his lips. “What have I done to deserve that?”

“I can’t just be nice and cook my alpha some risotto?” Sonny questioned as he went to grab Rafael’s favorite scotch from one of the shelves. “How was work?”

Rafael rolled his eyes. “I’m done with Rita. I no longer consider her a friend.” 

“That bad?” Sonny asked, going along with Rafael’s dramatics. Rafael nodded. “Go change out of your suit and I’ll pour you a large scotch.”

“Extra large.” Rafael winked before leaving the kitchen to go change.

Sonny let out a deep breath after Rafael disappeared from view. He just had to act normal until after dinner. He could do this. He’s done crazier things. Sonny set the table and got Rafael’s drink ready before sitting down. Soon, Rafael joined him at the table and the two began to eat. Sonny made sure to keep the conversation focused on Rafael. He asked question after question so Rafael didn’t have a change to ask him about his appointment. 

Sonny placed the tiramisu in front of Rafael, and the alpha let out a moan. “You’re too good to me.” 

Sonny smiled as he sat down again. He opened his mouth to say something but Rafael beat him to the punch. “So, how was your appointment? Are you okay?” Rafael asked and Sonny swallowed hard. He felt his heartbeat speed up, his stomach started to churn, and he felt nervous. 

“Um…” Sonny tried to figure out how to tell Rafael.

Rafael dropped his fork, leaving his dessert half eaten. “Are you-Is it serious?”

“No...yes. I mean...” Sonny shook his head and let out a sigh. He took a deep breath and looked over at his alpha. “I’m pregnant.” The words rolled off his tongue and he watched Rafael’s eyes widen.

“Pregnant?” Rafael questioned in disbelief.

Sonny reached into his back pocket and pulled out the results. He unfolded the piece of paper and slid it across the table for Rafael to see. “Doc says I’m about six weeks. I know I take the pill but the doc said-.”

Rafael tuned Sonny out as he picked up the test results. There it was in black, bold letters: Pregnant. His heart began to pound so hard that he could hear it in his ears and all of a sudden, it felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

“Rafael, are you okay?” Sonny had been calling his name for a while.

“I need a drink.” Rafael breathed out and Sonny pushed the glass of scotch closer to his alpha. Rafael looked down at the glass but didn’t drink anything. He quickly stood to his feet. “I need some air.” He mumbled before leaving.

“Rafi, wait please.” Sonny followed Rafael out of the kitchen. “Please talk to me. I know this wasn’t planned but-.” Sonny watched Rafael put on his coat and shoes. He left the apartment before Sonny could finish.

Sonny’s eyes quickly watered and the tears began to fall. He couldn’t believe this was happening. “Oh God.” He groaned through tears. Sonny dropped to his knees in the hallway to plead, gently pressing his hand to his stomach. “Please God. Bring him back to us.”

* * *

It was Autumn in New York City, but Rafael was sweating as if it was mid-July. His heart pounding against his chest and he could only take short breaths due to the tightness in his abdomen. He was trembling, not because he was cold, because fear had gripped his mind and it wasn’t letting go. 

_ Pregnant _

Rafael shook his head. The thought of Sonny being pregnant scared the hell out of him. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be a great father to their-Sonny’s child. He would rather disappear than stick around and ruin the baby’s life. Rafael ran his fingers through his hair, messing up the normally perfectly styled do. He needed a drink...and someone to talk to. 

He quickly located a liquor store and bought a bottle of something. Rafael hadn’t looked at the label, grabbing the first amber-colored liquid he saw. He paid and left the store, opening the bottle on the way out. Rafael took a large swig from the bottle as he walked down the sidewalk, not caring that drinking out of open containers on the street was illegal. He drank about a third of the bottle before he arrived at his friend’s house. He pounded on the door and yelled out that it was him. A few seconds later, the door swung open and Nick was standing there. Rafael entered the house, not waiting for Nick to invite him inside.

“Hello to you too.” Nick closed the door and followed Rafael into the house. He watched Rafael pace around his living room, holding a bottle of alcohol. His friend looked a mess and that was highly unusual for the well put together ADA. Something must have happened and it must be really bad.

“What’s up? Did Sonny finally wise up and dump your dumbass?” Nick chuckled and flopped down onto the couch. His smile fell when Rafael flopped down next to him and didn’t laugh or hit him on the shoulder like he normally would. “Oh God, did Sonny actually leave you?” Nick immediately regretted his joke. 

“Sonny’s pregnant.” Rafael said in a flat tone of voice.

Nick smiled but was also confused by Rafael’s attitude. “This is good, right? Sonny’s pregnant with a mini-Rafael.”

“You know I can’t be a father, Nick.” Rafael turned his head to look at his friend. “I’ll...fuck that kid up.”

“Okay, you’re done drinking.” Nick took the bottle from his friend. “You’re speaking nonsense.”

Rafael shook his head. “I can’t be a good father. I don't know how to be a good father.” He further explained. “The only things I know about fatherhood are beatings and drinking. The baby deserves better than me.”

“You are not your father, Rafael.” Nick didn’t know the entire story of Rafael’s childhood, but he did know about some of the abuse he suffered. 

“What if they break something, or something else bad happens, and I get angry.” Rafael told Nick the scenario he made up in his mind. “And I’m not thinking, and I revert to what I know.” Rafael rubbed his eyes to keep himself from crying. “I’d rather jump off the Brooklyn bridge than hurt them.”

“And that right there.” Nick grabbed Raphael’s shoulder and lightly shook him. “That proves you’ll never be like your dad, because you care.” Nick explained. “Jesus, you just said you’d rather commit suicide than hurt your kid and you’re Catholic.”

“Not a practicing Catholic.” Rafael mumbled and Nick waved off the comment.

“The point is, Rafael Barba, that you’ll be an awesome dad. You’ll give your kids what your dad couldn’t give you.” Nick said and laid back against the couch. “Besides, you can’t allow Sonny to raise the kid on his own. The kid will end up in an ill-fitting, brown onesie.” Nick joked, chuckling at his own wit. 

“Oh God, Sonny!” Rafael jumped off the couch. “I may be back here later on tonight.” He said and started toward the door. “Sonny may kick me out.”

Nick, confused, jumped off the couch and followed Rafael to his front door. “Why?”

Rafael sighed. “I...may have ran out on him after he told me he was pregnant.”

“Jesus, Rafael.” Nick groaned. “Go, now! And don’t tell Sonny you came here. I don’t want to get accidentally shot while we’re working a case.”

Rafael left without another word to Nick. He just hoped Sonny was still at home.

* * *

Sonny sat on the couch looking at the pamphlets on the coffee table. He’d collected himself from the floor and went to get the pamphlets after Rafael left, but he hadn’t read them. He just tossed them on the table and took up residence on the couch. Sonny thought about going to one of his sisters’ homes and stay there for the night, but he would have to tell them about the pregnancy and he wasn’t ready for anyone else to know, especially after Rafael’s reaction.

Sonny’s eyes began to water at just the thought of Rafael. He loved his alpha and wanted him here, but his alpha didn’t want their baby. It was a horrible situation to be in because he would have to choose between his child and his husband. It was a decision he didn’t know if he could make. 

Sonny perked up when he heard the door open and slam shut. “Sonny! Sonny!” Rafael’s voice rang out and Sonny cleared his throat.

“I’m in the living room!” Sonny called out and a few seconds later, Rafael appeared in the doorway. He was out of breath, cheeks were a bit red, and he was sweaty as if he’d been running. Sonny stayed quiet and watched Rafael cross the room. He stopped in front of Sonny and dropped to his knees. 

“I’m so sorry, Sonny.” Rafael made sure to look Sonny in the eyes. “I shouldn’t have run out like that. I don’t know what to say, I just panicked. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I...” Rafael sighed. “I’m scared, mi amor.”

“I’m scared too.” Sonny admitted. “I think it’s normal for first timers to be scared.” Sonny reasoned. “I know you don’t want the baby, but I’m not having an abortion. I can’t do that. Please, don’t ask me to do that.” Sonny whimpered as he struggled to hold back tears.

Rafael shook his head. “No, no mi cariño. I’d never ask you to do that. The truth is…” Rafael sighed. “I want the baby. I want kids with you, Sonny.”

Sonny’s eyes widened in shock. “Really? But all of the comments-.”

“Yes, I know.” Rafael cut his husband off. “I think I was trying to trick myself into not wanting kids because I’m scared…I’m scared all be just like my old man.”

“Oh, Rafael.” Sonny leaned in toward his husband so he could caress his cheek. He should have known this would have something to do with Rafael’s father. Sonny knew the ugly truth of his husband’s childhood and how it impacted him everyday. Why hadn’t he thought of this earlier. “You could never be your father, do you hear me?”

“I’m just worried I’ll hurt them.” Rafael looked down at Sonny’s stomach. “I’d rather leave now before I ever have the chance to ruin them.”

“You won’t ruin this baby.” Sonny protested. “I know your heart and you don’t have that in you. You’ll love them, protect them, teach them right from wrong, and make sure they have an expensive wardrobe.”

Rafael chuckled at the last comment. He raised his hand to touch Sonny’s stomach but stopped short. He wasn’t sure if Sonny was mad at him. “Can I-.”

“Of course.” Sonny laid back against the couch so Rafael could press both hands to his belly.

“I can’t wait until you start showing. You’re going to look so beautiful.” Rafael thought aloud and blushed at the fact that Sonny heard that. “Hi, baby.” He cooed at Sonny’s stomach. Sonny smiled as Rafael talked to their child. 

“Oh!” Sonny sat up when he remembered something. “We need to schedule an ultrasound appointment.”

“You didn’t do that while you were at the office?” Rafael asked and Sonny shook his head. 

“I also did a ‘reveal and dash’ at the doctor’s office today.” Sonny and Rafael both chuckled at one another. 

“We don’t do well with surprises, huh?” Rafael leaned in to lay his forehead on Sonny’s belly. “We’re going to teach you how to be a proper adult, and how to deal with things that don’t go as planned in a proper way.” 

“I love your confidence, but let’s not get carried away.” Sonny smiled. “Let’s start with teaching them how to walk and talk.”

Rafael looked up at Sonny and nodded. “I’ll take off whenever you schedule the ultrasound. I’ll even blow off court if I have to.”

Sonny scoffed. “The last thing I need is my baby daddy in jail for contempt.” Sonny said and started to scoot to the edge of the couch. “I’ll get with Carmen. Now, move before I throw up on you.” 

Rafael moved away so Sonny could stand-up. “I deserve to get thrown up on.” He mumbled. 

“No, you don’t.” Sonny retorted. “But if you pull that stunt again, I’ll do more than throw up on you.” Sonny threatened before running out of the living room. 

Rafael smirked as he rose to his feet to follow Sonny. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Queenielacy.tumblr.com


End file.
